The greatest artist of the 20th century??
I must say I’m a bit peeved.
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Why did yall have to have to take so much money?

hmm was it worth it....? if i were to do this all over again, how would i do it differently....
But you gotta go to jail forever now. prolly not worth it. just sayin.
then we got these guys:

Maybe you guys just got lazy somehow, and forgot how you made more money than any other (car) company for the past 70 years. maybe you guys were bored with being the biggest and the best.
You are a hundred years old. maybe you guys can’t hack it no more.
but now lots of ppl like you and me (only they live in detroit and not on a quest to bombay) have no jobby job no more. that’s seems kinda rude.
Now you’re saying “pleez, government, pretty pleez help us out! we’ll be better next time we promise! pleez pleez pleez!
How come you couldn’t just do your job?
hey readers i got some questions for you:
would you borrow a couple hundred million dollars from a friend to buy a slice of pizza?
would you pay that friend back afterward cause ‘that’s what homies do’?
would your friend say “nah, forget about that 600 mil dude, it’s chill.” ?
“Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.”
-lindsay lohan

whatevz
With Britney in the limelight of her career, there can be no more alarming sign of the times than Japan’s intent to build a Pop Robot to topple the U.S’s ailing music industry. Japanese people already do everything better than us like be nice to dumb old people, eat raw fish and smell panties from vending machines. Do they have to make pop music better than we do too?
Its possible this is just a clip from Music and Lyrics starring Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant, but couldnt it also be possible that this video was recovered by the U.N. while investigating suspected nuclear missile silos in North Korea? I hope so, because otherwise we might never find our way to Bombay! Do you know the way?!
Holy shit…is that Brad Garrett?! THEE Brad Garrett from Everybody Loves Raymond fame? I didnt see that coming. That stings, Brad…The ultimate betrayal.

JEWZ isnt just everyones favorite vodka mixer. member when they killed Jesus? cuz eye do. And then jesus thought about it for a few dayz inside a tomb and was like:
“Ah hells Naw… i aint gonna just roll over to science… i fucking invented science (and blogging) and ive decided that i am now invincible and feel great even though i probably should have just shot lazers at all of you while you spent the entire week torturing me. any of you bros have an advil? “
i guess hindsight is 20/20 even for the Jesus. but soon reality set in…even Jesus can catch a bad case of the Sundays…
“Its Sunday already? How long did I sleep for? Fuck…I gotta go back to work tomorrow….”

Remember just because JEWZ killed Jesus doesnt mean we should wipe them off the face of the planet but if we did just remember to deny deny deny. Besides it might be even funnier to invest all their precious bouillon into a Ponzi scheme and ski down their noses.
Have a Blessed One!!!
Hey guys,
I am liveblogging from my Blackberry on the back of a camel in the Sahara Desert.
Somebody told me that I might get to Bombay if I cross the Sahara, so here I am. Check out all these badass pics I took on my Phone:


So Hot out here…really thirsty…

Sunset Coming…

You know, being out here really gets me thinking….
What is life all about?
How the heck am I blogging from my friggin’ phone in the friggin sahara desert? Are my blogs really blogging through space and back to your computer?
I don’t really believe that…
Being out here, the sky so big, so far from home, I just gotta believe there’s something more….
Will we ever blog our way to Bombay?
Have you guys seen this badass new video??? I’m so glad that the World Wrestling Federation has finally gotten the respect it deserves in the US Army training manual in Iraq. That will teach them how to run a country!
Here are some of my favourite quotes:
“but youre too fucking pussy to go three kilometers down the fucking road and go get the people that are tearing this fucking country apart…I’ll take three goddamn trucks down the road any fucking day. You think this is funny? Why don’t I take your ass out back and kick your little fucking ass. You better shut the fuck up and fucking …
I am currently a graduate student and I was gonna write a dissertation of the effects of financial liberalisation on democracy, but I changed my mind, I think.

SUCK IT!!!!

Women’s History Month? Didnt we just carve out last month for a minority?
Anyone ever heard about this? Maybe women ought to advertise this a little more. Aren’t there a lot of them in PR?
Interestingly, Harry Houdini’s Birthday is March 24th who is famous for spitting on a woman’s back to simulate XXXXX and then XXXXXX on her XXXXXX when she turns around yelling “Houdini”!!!
[censored by the editor. watch out, sokalwavegrrrl, this is a family blog!]

God damn it I fucking hate English People. Maybe it would have been better to be Italian and born in 1968 in Genoa.
Kinda like Sabrina Salerno.
A lot of people like italo disco/spaghetti disco cuz its pretty good and it’s kinda old and European so therefore probably pretty chill. But what I think a lot of people don’t realize is how incredibly hot this Sabrina character is or that they just got some really hot italian model to jump around in a pool and act generally silly.
Like most of u guyz, I am pretty high culture. I think the modern world is really bullshit. We’ve forgotten what it means to be human! All we care about is stupid iphones and consumer culture crap!!! Like, hello! Get a life! If you think that’s what matters, that’s pretty sad! There is more to life than what grades you get on your midterms, if your football team wins the “championship” (whatever that means!), if you make the cheerleading squad, or if MAINSTREAM society accepts you! Fuck that you guys, be an individual!
“Fuck all this bullshit, I’m out”
-The Trenchcoat Mafia
This opinion of mine applies also to today’s “comedy.” All of that shit sucks so bad! Like, hello! You arent funny! And I’m not gonna laugh just because society tells me too!! I am not a sheep.
That’s why I am so relieved to have found the folowing video. I am also honored to reveal it to you.
i FEEL LIKE THIS TOM GREEN GUY IS REALLY FUNNY CUZ HE IS LIKE TELLING SOCIETY TO FUCK OFF!!! Check this shit out!!
TAKE THAT, MRS. WILSON! YEAH I’M NOT DOING MY MATH HOMEWORK TONIGHT I HATE MATH! I’M NEVER GONNA USE IT ANYWAYS! THEY INVENTED A CALCULATOR HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!
It’s been a hott minute but BOW2B is back on the blogosphere! And what gets pplz hotter (or more depressed) than Valentine’s Day? Um lemme think… Nothing!
See the ancient greeks (like 300 BC yo) were rilly kewl b/c they had different wurds to express different kinds of luv. check it out! They LUVED luv.
eros- used to describe the “puppy love”, sexual infatuation wit someone. If you have sexy thoughts about someone… you prolly love them in this way!
philia- this is where the bromance comes in. “I love you brobot, like ancient greek “philia” .” That love runs deep you guys.
agape’- for example “i love In-N-Out” . Now when someone says “why don;t you marry it,” you can say, “Dood i meant love like ancient greeks would say “agape”.
Let’s talk about what everyone’s thinking about. just lay it your heart on the carving board. Share your deeeeeeeepest luv secrets with us and we will post them. It’s a lot like postsecret.com only make it more anectodtal/personal, etc. (e.g. “this one time….”). Can’t wait to read your responses!
Oh hey and check out this true love story from back in da day in ‘93. It’s like Romeo + Juliet. only it actually happened. The Story Admira and Bosko
whoah that link is kinda sad.
But if you’re feeling sad this V-Day just remember, I LOVE YOU

Have you ever wondered how to get those pesky blackheads off of your clitoris? Or how to make your apartment stop smelling like tuna? Well no need to worry. Our friends at Neutrogena and our teenage obsession Vanessa Hudgens have teamed up to deliver the future of “skin care.”
As part of our full disclosure policy here at BOW2B I am obligated to tell you that I am an investor in this product. I believe that this is a real disruptive technology which could put the traditional vibrator industry out of business! No one has dreamed up a product like this since I launched the first lube based lip gloss.

Out of our millions of loyal readers, some of you must have made the mistake of watching perhaps the WORSTEST Movie of all time. Lets just say its so bad, it would make Owen Wilson want to take his own life.
This movie will not only suck the soul out of your body but it will also waste a significant part of your life considering the movie is approximately 9 hours long.
P.P.S. that white girl isnt hot and im not talking about Owen Wilson
Dont forget to watch Marley & Me this weekend starring Owen hates his life Wilson and Jennifer the new Cheryl Crow Anniston.
Drum roll PLZ!!! And the 2008 KONTEST KONTEST KONTEST Winning entry adhering to the theme “Appletini’s Mobilize” is…

I think it was the scratched out serial # that pushed him over the top…Bravo!!!
If you couldn’t guess by his submission, the 2008 Weiner is of course an Asian guy…boy they love guns…and chinese stars…opps I mean Chinese-American stars…Filipino I’m guessing due to his almond shaped eyezzz.

Enjoy your 15 blavatars of fame. This may even be the highlight of your life since opportunities for Filipino-Americans are so few here outside of owning a tire shop or a mango farm. But hey that might be your thing.
Enjoy this small LIMITED EDITION ONE OF A KIND ON THIS EARTHOSPHERE token of our appreciation… and I hope you dont mind that it is signed by the most beautiful of beauties VANESSA HUDGENS!


I hope you had the time of your life 2008 Weiner!
Theres something unpredictable
But in the end its right
I hope you had the time of your life…
In support of our Appletini brethren we are running a really kewl kontest here at BOW2B!
Everyone send in your best cell phone snaps related to the theme “Appletinis Mobilize” Remember to Get Kreative! The winner will recieve the following prize autographed by our favorite Sista in Armz Vanessa Hudgens!

and remember…

BOW2B WHQ – Newsflash!!!! I’ve had a few glasses of Mailibu, I am in Huntington Beach USA, and I’m hecka turned on. Kan u blame me??? These dayzzz Zac is almost man enough to please me…
But what will really PLZZZ me is if you enter our new ThAnXgIvInG KONTEST!!!
Please submit the best picture related to the theme “Dark Turkey Jewzzz”….
The WEINER will receive the following poster for the OFFICE…

Its our responsibiliTITTIE here at BOW2B to report all news concerning Vanessa Hudgens. Even news that has nothing to do with her.
I pose the question: Could the Kute’n'Krispy http://8piece.wordpress.com/ Selena Gomez be the next Vanessa Hudgens???

Although she has some big kurls to fill, we kertainlee C the resemblence. What a pair of Kutie Petooties!!!

U B da Judge…
Morning, blogville, it’s me, Vincent.
U know something it’s really tough just being one little blog in this big crazy world.
Sometimes the weight of the worlds (girls, fashion choices, boys, homework, volleyball practice, trying 2 blog to Bombay) is so heavy it’s tough 2 get out of bed.
I’ll admit it, sometimes we need a little blog love 2 get out of bed. Then we just sit around the breakfast table and have a cup of Joe.
THX BLOGVILLE
KEEP ON KEEPIN’ ON.
“SOMETIMES LIFE IS KEWL, BUT SOMETIMES LIFE KINDA SUX AND U JUST HAVE 2 BLOG”
-Jesus of Nazareth


So I was surfing http://nudemalez.co.uk/ just minding my own business, when I came accross this pic of Zac Efron and then I started rigoursly minding my own BIDness…if you know what I mean
… and I think you know what sokalwavegrrrl means. Vanessa Hudgens has hecka taste!!!
I have always had a thing for skimboarders with a great body and a healthy head of highlights, but Zac Efron is melting the tanning oil off my body!!!
But dont worry, Nessa, I would do you like DAT!!! Awww…What a KUTE Couple!!!!

Could this BEE the best Blog Ever?!!!
Hard hitting journalism from a San Francisco based Japanese exchange student, who goes by the name 8-Piece, chronciling the trials and tribulations of locating the KRISPIEST and SALTIEST Fried Chicken on the planet one disgusting chain at a time.
Hoo took first place in the 2008 Fried Chicken Rankings?
Did I mention she goes by 8-Piece?
Who is this guy and why does he think this is a 4REE country?
I did a ‘lil research and by ‘lil I do mean the size of his muscules. BrokerJones is now accepting Creatine donations. Whatever you can spare, plz.
After I managed to hack into his iTunes playlist I was APPALLED not by what I found but what was GLARINGLY ABSENT.
Not 1 single INSANE KLOWN POSSE Track

In all fairness to the massive gobs of cash this post is going to make us, the least we can do is give Broker Jones the plug he deserves. If you or someone you knoe is in need of a low budget marketing campaign shot by a pyramid scheme’s worth of 8th graders with dated production equipment plzzz visit Broker Jones’ makeshift website at www.hatesinsaneklownposse.com . Try to ignore the silly voice he talks in.

1. Youre N-0-T Vanessa Hudgens. Theres only room for 1 Disney Teen Queen on this Blog, SISTER!!!! (oh no u didnt)
2. Your dog is FUGLIE and should be putting out fires

4. If we are mean enough youll hopefully make a YouTube Video about this
5. You have sex with your Father but not the Jonas Brothers aka Hanson squared???
6. Somehow Hannah Montana is a less annoying name than your “actual name” (which of course is another fake name your hick of a father made up after he forced you into show business after you guys made love).
7. There are no images to be found of you drinking Appletinis and anyone who plays Hannah Montana is definately an alcoholic.
8. Cocktail Nerd wears a promise ring
10. It was a slow day here at BOW2B WHQ because Vanessa Hudgens’ outgoing mail server must be down (Check the POP3 Nessa and make sure your Inbox hasnt grown too large)
WTF language is this? What the fuck is this fucking d-bag doing in Mexico, bro? WTF is pemex and jumex and fraude and wtf are you talking about? The only part of this video I liked is the cartoon with the Pepsi and the Coke. And also the part where some brobot is driving on the 5 at night for some reason.
But seriously this is what Venezuelan state-run, “youth revolutionary” television is like and that’s super awesome.
[An episode of La Bolita Del Mundo on AvilaTV in Caracas, Venezuela, produced then uploaded to youtube by Coromoto.]
BOW2B <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Mexico. Sorry about your fake election.
Time 2 take a lil’ break from the appletini blogwar and just have a good old-fashioned lazyblog featuring something good/funny someone else did.
Did you know Chevy Chase is 9 feet tall? Did you know Simon and Chase are actually just lip synchers like Milli Vanilli???
Paul Simon- You can call me Al
What is Paul Simon’s best song? Is it that one?